It's a haunting. It's a soul touch. It's something that you cannot see, but surely it is there because...you feel it.
I never had to meet you to feel your presence. I never had to touch you to feel your heat.
I never had to experience...one...thing, but I have, and now I know it was you...always.
Last night was one of those nights. I lay alone, eyes open, thinking.
But was I really alone? Your soul steps were there I am sure of it.
A peace washed over me, and for the first time in a long time my mind...just...stopped.
It stopped its swirling and worrying. It just calmed itself and just let go of all the nothings past, and did not worry so much about what has not happened yet in the future.
You were there...all night...you were there. I felt you.
Physically distant, but your presence was near. I felt the very depths of your soul that has pulled me up out of hiding. I stopped fighting. I stopped hating self.
I have stopped trying to rationalize every, little detail with my will, and allowed my heart for one night at least, to feel.
My thoughts are controlled and pointed. My emotions....
Those things were at peace finally, if only for a moment.
I found peace in soul.
I found warmth, fire. I let go of cold, ice.
I finally just...let...go. I allowed emotion to flood again all the small chasms of empty nothingness. I allowed that emotion to hydrate the dry in the soul in hopes that all the nothingness will regenerate to a somethingness.
And one simple smile. One simple kindness. One simple space shared.
All in the one simple nothingness, created was a river of soul rejuvenated somethingness.
You... You simply have no idea what has been given to me. You will never understand how soul is more important than anything to me, and you have given it so freely. For the first time, in a long time, I am receiving, not just giving.
Thank you for it all...
No matter where this soul leads...I thank you...for it all.
For the flood. For the fire. For the peace. For the hot.
For the cold. For the hurt.
For the healing.
You were not there last night, but I felt you...yes, you.
I felt deeply the soul in which has been safe for my soul.