Updated: Jan 15, 2021
Because daughters of the King cannot physically, spiritually, or emotionally destroy another soul; it is not your destiny or calling my darling.
All valid questions to love. All-encompassing, all-knowing, all-creation-centered...love. We were birthed out of love from the very darkness, and brought into the light. The creation screams this at its very core.
What am I learning truly? Truly, I am learning at my core why love and hate coexist its a constant battle just like light and darkness.
It is something that shatters a person from the inside out. Your soul radiates from within that love is patient, and kind, and never self-seeking; however, your flesh denies that vindication is NOT yours to take screaming back from its pit of darkness.
So there is the conception, the root of the matter.
You... You are the only soul that can love unfathomably as well as you are the only soul that can shatter love into a thousand pieces. Your soul is the infinite reminder that without it you are nothing more than a void-less being traveling from finite time to infinity.
Who to love? If you do not love who created you, how can you love you and how can you love all the souls chosen and lost around you?
What to love? Love needs to be loved from the soul out. Did you hear me?! Love needs to be loved itself first before you can ever pour it out. Love, love because without it you cease to even be a memory, let alone a thought.
When to love?
Life's first cry to life's final breathe...that is your timeline to love.
Because the sword is not yours to carry my darling. No matter how many heads you want to see roll for their indifference, their heedless actions, or their out right cruelty...
Drop. The. Sword.
I have often said I am a warrior. I will stand in fire and come through. I will survive. I will thrive. I will be that which the Master has molded.
Bold-faced, stubborn pride right there!
I am a warrior. I will not yield that, but I tend to want to run my own campaign and go around screaming "flank 'um, and spank 'um."
I want vindication. I want justification.
AND I WANT IT NOW!
However, I must remember to be the hardest, pure element on earth, a diamond; there is much refinement and pressure needed. I want to be the haven that will never shatter. My soul has always found those that the world wishes to crush, and I sit in their hurt with them.
I see the hurt. I breathe the hurt. I feel the hurt. I take the hurt. I allow the hurt to wash over me until they feel love. An excruciatingly painful exchange. Giving your best, and receiving the least.
I give the bounty of infinite love that I cannot create out of my soul-chasm to a soul that has nothing to give back in return, because I know that the Creator will fill my cup every night as I offer up my burnt sacrifices in my sanctuary.
My sanctuary is where I take those hurts, those sins, those tears...the very filthy rags of humanity that I, or someone else has accumulated. I place all those horrifying, soul-darkening demons on the alter and burn a nightly sacrifice to the Creator.
The smoke rises. And the blessings rain.
With this, I must remember this mantle is heavy. It is sorrowful at times. It is bodily crushing. It is emotionally draining. This calling is non-gratifying for the soul in which the hurt find refuge. It will bleed you out all over humanity in a bloody mess. You learn sacrifice. Sacrifice that is earth-founding. No fight. Willingness. Total submission.
This is the love...
This is the love that I want...
This is the love that I want to bleed and breath...
This is the love that I want to bleed and breath out on humanity.
So I am whispering to humanity...
I will keep you safe my darling. The hurt and secrets are safe. Come and rest.