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Burning the Midnight Oil

Updated: Jan 14, 2021

When wolves turn on their own; it is hard to understand where a frenzy begins and where it will end. What will the cost be of total control lost?

In light of so many current events in the United States I find myself at a total loss of where rational debate was lost, and people turn on each other in uproar.

This week was hard.

This week was shocking.

This week was controversial.

This week was divided.

This week was loud.

This week was something that was a new chapter for me, and for our country.

As I watched in amazement of humanity, I start to look inward to draw parallels of myself. I am here to take a look at my own faulted humanity (and yes WE all no matter your political, ecumenical, or social views) are faulted.

Not a one of us are released from self-evaluation in how to better yourself before you better anyone else.

Tonight I reflect.

Tonight I look inside.

Tonight I re-evaluate friendships that are contingent on brow beating me to believe what you believe.

Tonight I kneel in ash and raise my hands in praise for all I have compared to those that have nothing.

Tonight I light the midnight oil in prayer for peace.

We scream for rights.

We scream for fair treatment.


In all of our screaming...

We are taking another's rights.

We are trampling the rules of fair play...ON BOTH SIDES.

And by the way, why was there ever a side?

We are all one nation aren't we? We are all united as one people aren't we?

We all hold up an enlightened piece of paper screaming that it is the law of the land don't we?

Then why are we not, on either side, actually reading it in all its context? Why are we more concerned about our selfish indignation, then educating ourselves fully (AND NO it is not your government's job to educate you). You are the government! They rise from the dust of us to represent us! So YOU AMERICA...start raising enlightened people, and stop complaining about what you raised! Except how far we all have fallen and start correcting it! And NO stimulus checks, and more legislation does not fix this problem.



(Sorry did I just blow small minds?)

In all my thoughts and hardships, and yes DO NOT think you are exclusive to the art of hardship, all those who think they need to cut me down in all your ignorance. We all see hardships in certain forms. Whether they are self-made by horrible decisions or imposed on us WE ALL see unfair and butchering times where you think your bottom will engulf you.


What makes you different then all those screaming needlessly for centuries just to scream?

Are you screaming because you feel pain and are selfish, or are you screaming and marching because so many can't that NEED to be seen justly?

Am I picking a side? No.

Am I standing in a color? No.

Am I standing in a gender? No.

All I am saying is that do you think of others in order to give before you grapple for scraps for yourself?

It is how you bear those hardships with grace and love and still see others that hurt that defines if you really know what freedom is to humanity.

You need to give out of nothing for the greater good of something.

You need to reach instead of pull.

You need to raise your hands in sacrifice instead of taking until your gluten-ness overtakes you in a total frenzy.

Do you not realize as you personally eat yourself from within; you create the cancer of humanity's cruelty? All it takes is one harsh cut to add to the surmounting death epidemic. And no I am NOT talking COVID! I am talking about the epidemic of self-destruction that humanity is so prone to. New flash of a real matter how much you yell we all go in the ground in our own time.

You don't get to choose different that is non-negotiable. Are you going to start screaming about that now? Sometimes you have to accept you do not get everything you want in your pursuit of happiness because your pursuit of happiness is not an inalienable right to mow over others pursuits. If that were the case the founders would have allowed and written anarchy.

So, tonight as the oil burns low, burns hot, burns long, burns ardently...

My questions to myself are...

Do I self-reflect on all my evil before I try to tell others what evil really is? Do I dig deep into my darkest moments and realize I am part of humanity's cruelty at times?

Do I sit down in the dirt so that I do not forget what its like to be trampled on?

Do I reach out and touch humanity's leprosy knowing that all it needs is to be seen?

Do I really want to sit and read and listen and discuss ALL sides to find the kernel of truth in it all?

I want to be someone that just is....

"I am that I am..."


Profound isn't it. All those yelling ignorantly about their "religiosity" at the top of their lungs; claiming to be from a Creator that cries for humility. We live in a covenant, or at least I do, that tells me my humble love is all that is required. I am not the king. I am not the savior.

If the earth-shattering, ground-breaking, curtain-tearing, alter-splitting God I believe in deems it enough to only SAY "I Am that I Am..."; well than, it is more than enough for me to say...

"I am because YOU ARE!"

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