When the sun shines you must rejuvenate, but these moments too soon disappear.
My soul needed this.
This right here.
My soul needed to breathe deep of open spaces.
My soul needed to be cleansed.
There are those times in life where you just have to stop, and start living the moments again. I am so guilty of running head strong into my life of achievement I forget that my life needs rest too. I have had to dig for so long with little reward that I am just use to not realizing I have arrived to the opportunity to really enjoy a moment.
Just. One. Single. Moment.
The moments like snow flakes in my hands far too soon melt away. However, what I have found about those precious flakes is when they melt, they water.
The only nothingness as an element; meaning no calories, no source of energy per-say is measurable in it. But, out of all that nothingness is the very root of your life's total somethingness. It is the only thing that can sustain you, and you are made with it. When you deprive the body of soul hydration you will become like dust in the wind. Because to dust you will return.
Yesterday even though I was not totally alone, I was watering my soul in those quiet moments. I took my glove off bent down and picked up a hand full of nothingness to fulfill all of my somethingness. As my soul's heat melted the flakes one by one, I allowed the water to soak in a bit.
I needed to feel.
And I have not really felt for a while now.
I needed to know.
I needed to experience.
I needed to feed on a moment to sustain me through the valley.
For once I needed to look when the little one cried out, "mom look!"
I have for so many years worried about needs that I have selfishly deprived the one that I was given from above of his unselfish wants. Yes you heard me right. Sometimes our souls need to fulfill wants that are life-giving in order to hit that mountain high to really see how far you have come.
I need to LOOK at my son, and see what he wants me to see.
I need to remember just as I need my soul hydrated it is my job to teach him how to hydrate his so this world of Goliaths and monsters and black holes does not swallow him up.
I need to look into his eyes and see the soul that has been ordained to him as a blessing is the same deep ocean that my wine skin has been given. I need to look and recognize that, that which is in you is in me too little man, and we feed each other because we both cry out for the same deep.
Yesterday was that day watching him learning to love a moment, and learning to command a moment, and saying to me and saying to the world...I am here. I want to pour the waters of wisdom over you, but how can I do that without first bathing in moments of wisdom myself.
The scary truth about wisdom though is you hold the Pandora's Box of its very truths, but when you ignore the calling to live or give those truths, that is when she unleashes on you the gatekeeper. Wisdom is a weighty call because you know things without knowing why. You are tortured from within with the weight of Pandora.
Wisdom is deep.
Wisdom is heavy.
Wisdom can be lonely.
Wisdom is for souls that can sustain on little, but feed the world around them much.
Wisdom my little man is what we have been given.
Wisdom is what sustains us, and we sustain it.
Wisdom is knowing, going into the dark; truly, deeply, infinitely knowing that no matter how dark it is the light within you repels the dark around you.
Wisdom is for those that can feel without seeing.
Wisdom is for those that can sit without judging in the dirt with a wounded soul.
Wisdom is for those that can hear the cries of the victim over the screams of the murderer of hope because you have once endured your own soul being tortured.
Wisdom is when you know, but you do not judge from your knowledge; you love from your soul.
Wisdom is what commands your will, and son, your will MUST be stronger then your heart. The heart is a fickle thing. It jumps and beats to whatever life thinks it needs to love in the moment. You are not suppose to fall in love with every moment for it is finite. You need to fall in love with the Soul Giver in order to water your soul with the moments.
The soul is something that is infinite in your finite heart-beating wine skin. It breathes fire and gushes water when needed. It can purge and it can rejuvenate all in one. That my son, is what stars are made of in this life. The soul is all of your somethingness that needs the water out of nothingness from the one who sustains all of it.
Wisdom is who we are, what we are, and why we are.