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Taking a Hard Look at Your Roots

To Determine Your Wings
Roots to Wings
Quiet Flight

We all have those memories warm, disheartening, or otherwise when we open old photo albums. We also have the present and how things stand with people, especially family.

When you are stuck holding old photographs, and new arguments with words that cut to the quick; how do you blend and mold the solution you need to preserve peace and grace?

I find myself at a crossroads again. I am having to take a hard look at my roots to determine my wings. Isn’t life intriguing the way you think you are past one decision and it most definitely and assuredly produces another immediately. I am always looking for that green pasture that is spoken of in Psalm 23. That place where there is peace. However, my created being is still being molded just like all my relationships.

The true meaning is to refine me to a point where I understand the next truth. And the next. And the next. I am on an eternal journey to being and to worshipping Christ. It is not an easy road, but it is a diverse road that allows us to understand the true joy of carrying the spirit within us. Joy is not without burden though. It is something that most definitely partners with burden to bring deeper appreciation and understanding.

Sometimes those burdens come in forms and from sources that you thought to be those in your corner and closest to you. At the root of the matter is there are two different root sources in all of creation. That which understands Christ’s truth and that which rejects it or does not understand it.

Being an only child is hard.
Being an only child is lonely at times.
Being an only child in a split foundation is entirely another matter.

And what I mean by split foundation is that my parents are still married. They still have a relationship and are trying to build into this next season of life, but foundationally at their soul level they are split. They are trying to co-exist in a way that is very difficult to do. I know I was unable to achieve the same co-existence with my ex-husband. Foundationally all things are driven by self or by surrender. And when two people live in this way it causes a fractured soul as collateral.

I am an adult.

I answer for my own choices.

I have found; however, that some of my angst and some of the pure anger I spew or have spewed at me within a tight-knit roots origin relationship is just a plain and simple soul that sees and a soul that does not see eternal truth.

I have always wanted to fly and fly well. I have wanted to experience and achieve limits that have only been imagined by some; maybe by more than will let on quite frankly. It is a soul root of finding the truth in life and experiencing it beyond a confined family tree root. With that said it seems like this last very large jump I made in life for the revitalization of my soul and the protection and growth of my son has caused a fracture that might never be repaired.

When you spread your wings to take flight based on a soul root initiative, there will always be collateral damage on the ground.

I think what I am most tired of is having to be that person that openly, and not behind closed doors, causes the damage and takes on the comments of non-seers to create necessary growth in my family. It is a chore that is tiresome and leads to being a very lonely road. People come in and out of purview. And those closest to me cut hard with words and always of selfish gain.

From childhood I was given two options on what would root me to release me at some point.

Do I choose the non-seeing path of self-attained glory?

Or do I choose the path in which pain will mold a heart of iron no matter how soft my clay feet are?

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