The gist is you need to learn to listen twice and speak once.
No matter how many times I tell myself that simple truth, I find myself stepping all over my tongue at all hours of the day and night! You think with as many bruises I have given myself I would learn...but, sadly no.
There are times I am sleepless, and not because I am excited about things, but rather I a trying to live with myself inside my own skin. People can easily shut me out; however, I cannot shut myself out when I am angry with myself.
So, in the silence I seethe.
In the silence I contemplate.
In the silence I repent.
In the silence I mourn.
In the silence I seek.
In the silence I rejuvenate.
In the silence I summon peace.
I am always learning and have no problem claiming my mistakes. I have been trained to claim all mistakes which is not healthy. And my response sometimes to those closest to me becomes a cutting and bleeding out that is not intended. It becomes a frenzy that when I stop I realize that I am as horrified as them.
Last night was a night for looking at my souls hand's and really understanding the damage I deliver only fatally can wound me.
SPOILER ALERT! (or maybe not)
I can be rash.
I can be cruel.
I can be mouthy.
I can be bull-headed.
Truth is, I can be a lot of things that I choose not to show the world. If you happen to be a person allowed into my inner world. I guard myself in public quiet well, but when it comes to explosions they can be lethal at times.
And for this...
For this I am very, very remorseful usually within minutes of a situation.
Because this is my gut reaction to most blow ups; when I do not feel remorse, I know that I have spoken truth and can live with the consequences of speaking that truth.
If remorse sets in, I know that the consequences are burning me, not the person they were intended for. That is where wisdom cuts, stitches, and rebuilds knowledge when you can reach that inner thought about yourself.